Craig Shaw Gardner by A Difficulty & Dwarves

Author:A Difficulty & Dwarves [Difficulty, A & Dwarves]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Fantasy, Fiction, General
ISBN: 9780747232131
Publisher: Mandarin
Published: 1987-12-01T06:00:00+00:00

138 CraigShaw Gardner

Apprentice than’ - he snorted - ‘a wizard!’

Both Brax and the Brownie had a good laugh.

Guxx still glowered, but the other’s arguments seemed to have kept him, at least for the moment, from attacking and eating me.

If I was going to banish them, there would never be a better time. There was nothing to do but finish the spell.

I glanced quickly to my Home Study Course: ‘Now it is time for the Mystic Warthog, to instruct the spirits to banish the demons from the surface world.’

I quickly curved my hands to either side of my nose, like tusks, and began to snort, stamping my feet in the described rhythm.

‘Magic!’ Guxx screamed, and leapt for me, claws extended.

Somehow, I managed to stand my ground and finish the spell, although the sight of an onrushing demon somewhat unnerved me.

And then I thought: I had stomped my foot seven times. Hadn’t I? Guxx was still rushing forward to rend and tear. I had lost count.

I stomped once more to be sure.

And Guxx froze in mid-stride.

The spell was working! Brax seemed frozen as well, drum in one hand, contract in the other. The spirits must be at hand. I snorted a couple more times for good measure. Soon the banishment would begin.

The ground began to shake. What was going on? The Home Study Course had said nothing about this.

The quake beneath my feet intensified. It took me a moment to realize that I hadn’t banished anyone.

Instead, I had summoned the Netherhells!

ELEVEN

‘The professional magician must always be ready for the unexpected, for who knows what magic might bring? Thus, one should always be prepared when performing sorcery, and have on hand a full knowledge of all the latest banishment spells, a good half-dozen well planned escape routes, and perhaps most important, a constant supply of clean linen in the guest room.’

THE TEACHING OF EBENEZUM, Volume IX

Oh, no. What had I done?

The shaking earth before me tore asunder, and from that rift in the ground rose a great oaken table, complete with five demons. This was far worse than I had thought. I had somehow summoned the entire dread legion of the Netherhells’ Conquest by Committee!

‘Point of order!’ the small, somewhat sickly looking demon at the end cried.

The much larger demon at table’s center pounded its gavel. ‘Yes, yes. What is it this time?’

‘Beg pardon,’ the small, sickly demon remarked in a voice so brash that no one, anywhere, at any time, would ever pardon anything it said. ‘Look around us. We don’t appear to be where we should be. I really thought someone should mention that.’

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